Goodnight Timmy

By: George Carlin

From The Book: When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

Here's a good way to provide some entertainment for your four-year-old when you tuck him in at night, and at the same time, stimulate his imagination.

   "I came up to say goodnight, Timmy. You had a big day, so make sure you get a good night's sleep. And don't forget to watch out for the Boogie Man. Remember when Daddy and I told you about the Boogie man? How he kills little boys? What do you think, Timmy? Is the Boogie Man here in your room, hiding somewhere? Is he in the closet? Is he gonna jump out and kill you when I leave the room? He might; you never know.

   "Maybe he's under the bed. He likes to hide there,too. He might claw his way through the mattress and kill you, Timmy. You know what he does? He sticks a sharp metal tube up your nose and sucks the fluid out of your brain. It really hurts alot

   "I'm going to turn out the lights now and leave you alone in the dark. All by yourself. And I dont want to hear a peep out of you. If I hear any noise coming out of this room, I'm going to come up here and beat you. Try to get a good night's sleep. By the way, Daddy saw a monster walking up and down the hall last night. The monster had a piece of paper in his hand with your name on it. Night-night." ___________________________________________________________________________
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Visit George's Site, but for Chrissakes, be patient while he wakes the hamster.

Buy "When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops"
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Or..
Listen to Goerge read it on CD ..what.. are you lazy? Cant you read?!jerk!(@ Barnes & Noble)

Buy it or choke on a sandwich. Seriously. You even have Choices. Bitch. Even I read it. And I hate to read. BUY IT!