Part One - Introduction

“I want to make a rant too big for one page, so I'mma talk about scientology” ~Chris

So Isaac Hayes is gone from South Park, Chef was killed off, and scientology still blows.

Just incase you don’t know what it is:

To get in you take a personality test. You remember, from 6th grade. Or for some of our older, creepier friends, the internet dating sites! Yes, but it’s not evaluated by a human, but by a machine, E-meter. Sounds like that Nintendo GBA add-on that you swiped the cards with.

And look at what they claim about converting: “Scientologists have claimed benefits from auditing including improved IQ, improved memory, alleviated dyslexia and attention deficit problems, and improved relaxation.”... yeah.. right.. ok.. SUUREE you do.

Lets see what it‘s all about:

“Another basic tenet of Scientology is that there are three interrelated (and intrinsically spiritual) components that make up successful "livingness": affinity (emotional responses), reality (an agreement on what is real) and communication (the exchange of ideas). Hubbard called this the "ARC Triangle". Scientologists utilize ARC as a central organizing principle in their own lives, primarily based upon the belief that improving one aspect of the triangle increases the level of the other two.”

So emotions, Reality, and exchanging ideas make up a successful life. Doesn’t sound too out there. Yet.

“The tone scale is a characterization of human mood and behavior by various positions on a scale. The scale ranges from -40 or "Total Failure" to +40 or "Serenity of Beingness." Positions on the tone scale are usually designated by an emotion, but Hubbard also described many other things that can be indicated by the tone scale levels, such as aspects of an individual's health, sexual behavior, survival potential, or ability to deal with truth. The tone scale is used by Scientologists in everyday life to evaluate people. According to Scientology, the lower the person is on the tone scale, the more complex and convoluted his or her day-to-day problems tend to be, and the more care and judgment should be exercised regarding communication and interchange with the individual.”

A little more fucked up but still, I can see that. Still sounds like a valid religion with valid beliefs. So far.

Another Belief is past lives. Not that out there. Many religions believe in reincarnation (for all the retards, that means living, dying, and being reborn with no memory of your past life). Not that out there.

But just wait.
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