Oh… My… God - Recent News…

People are fucking RETARDED. So because of all this fucking fear of everything(See Fear Rants 1 &2), including kids getting hurt, the game Tag (you know, TAG YOU’RE IT, and you tag the slow retarded kid and he cries cause he cant tag anyone) is to be banned from schools because of fears of injury and “inappropriate touching”. Ok, fine, shelter the kids, make them little faggots, protect them in every way possible, why not cover them in bubble wrap. But you know what, you can get an injury from sharpening a pencil. You can get hurt walking, maybe we should outlaw it. Also, they’re banning dodge ball and touch football. You know, when I was that age, I used to find enjoyment in me and a bunch of other kids violently throwing rocks at each other. I remember one hit me in the nose really hard once, and I was bleeding all over the place.. It was so cool. We used to do that and go home like it was nothing, now kids will go home crying if they stub their tow, they’ll need a cast and they’ll need to take a few weeks off school. You know, for recuperation.

How will these kids fight? One will smack the other, they’ll both end up hospitalized. One because he got slapped, the other because he hurt his hand. Then the law will get into it. The 5-yearold who got slapped will take the 6-yearold who slapped him to court. Not even small claims court. But the one who got slapped will say that he was hospitalized, and the other kid is prejudice against 5-yearolds because he’s 6. Then the other will say the 5-yearold is a thief and should be jailed because he took his nickel, which is why he slapped him.

Sadly we cant beat them into shape anymore either. It’s called abuse now.

The fights wont even be good, because it’s only a mater of time before they take out weight rooms.

But I’d like to move onto another current event. Some kid stabbed his twin brother to death over a pack of gum. Yeah, Tag is the problem here too I guess.

Know who I like now. I gave up on humans, they’re not my favorite species anymore. My new favorite species is still up in the air. The sting rays are slowly taking it though. I’m rooting for them. I mean they took Steve Irwin, and recently stabbed an 80-yearold. Sent him to critical condition. I say keep going stingrays. Actually I think Crocker is the best species though. But now, we’re killing them randomly out of fear. See, every stupid thing goes back to fear. Except the gum thing I guess.

So how ‘bout them there dirty bombs?! For you who don’t know, some guy went onto a forum and said that all the stadiums that have football games this weekend are going to be blown up with dirty bombs and when they asked him how he knew and he was all "you already know too much". He basically claimed some trucks would drop off bombs, blow up the stadiums, and Osama Bin Laden would claim responsibility. See, internet people suck, I told you. We’ll see what happens with that, my guess is nothing.

Well, it’s not all bad, they have made an invisibility cloak, not perfect, but proof Harry Potter is slowly coming true. I demand a wand.

I think that’ll do.