M. Night Shaymaylon: THE ULTIMATE TERRORIST!
Everyone is so concerned with terrorism today. Everyone thinks about the terrorists over in Iraq though. We tend to forget about the terrorists here, among us. Some of them even legal citizens. And although many use the same techniques as they do in Iraq, some of them have come up with far more sinister and evil plots. Specifically: M. Night Shyamalan. This evil terrorist has forced many unknowing citizens to some of the worst tortures known to man, including: “The Village”, “Unbreakable”, and most recently “Lady In The Water”. And Worse: “Stuart Little”.
This is an unstoppable evil, with commercials that lead you to thinking you’re seeing a horror movie, but only to make you receive a fucking rollercoaster of twists. Wow, that’s cool. Almost as cool as sitting on broken glass!
And yet people buy in to his form of terror, COULD THE SIXTH SENSE BE ANY MORE POPULAR!
Well, he is Indian, so it is possible. He’s terrorizing our country with wretched movies, and the ultra mediocre signs. But yet we cant check in on this. We have to worry about the confirmed terrorists. Well you know what, we need to be concerned with this man as well, we don’t know what he’s capable of! What if he starts doing remakes?! What if he makes Texas chainsaw massacre, except the twist is that he makes it in Alabama, with a hatchet, and he never ends up killing anyone. And what if he makes the guy plastic face and the twist is that he’s actually a she and she’s the twin sister of the person she’s trying to kill, CAN WE RISK THAT?!
“BUT CHRIS, AS SHITTY AS HIS MOVIES ARE, HE’S NOT KILLING ANYONE!!!1!11!111!1!!1!1111!1!!11!!!11!1!!1!1!!1111”
Can we really prove that? Can we prove his movies don’t cause cancer, or that thousands are dying in the theatres, and they’re just not cloning them and replacing them? HUH?! WELL?!
Two times I almost died in theatres: The Village being one, almost died of confusion, also was Anchorman, almost died of boredom. By the way, we need to look into Will Ferrell too, I don’t trust him. I think he’s on their side. If M. Night and Mr. Ferrell ever make a movie together I can confirm that.
Ok, I think I’m just about done here. Leave.
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