Talking Pitchers Filled With Mediocre Fruit Punvh Only Brings Sadness And Destruction.. Like Crocker

That Kool-Aid guy is an ass, I mean look at that one commercial, First he lures these kids out to a deserted island like the child molester he is (I mean he was naked in those commercials for years, he just recently put on a pair of pants.. Freak.) with what the kids think is an S.O.S. I mean, these kids take the time to find a helicopter and go find him. I’m sure they stole it. And it was military issue no doubt. Then they take the time to go find the prick. Think of all the looking.

So then they land and are all “WE FOUND YOUR S.O.S!” and he’s all “S.U.S.” Well what the fuck is a S.U.S. And plus now he’s even gayer because I was hoping he was dead. But anyway. Then he’s all “STIRRIN’ UP SSINGLES.” and apparently those are those $5 packets that you get one drink from and think “Wow, that blew…”

So then the kids are all “I want grape,” ”I want cherry,” “I want blueberry!”

Then he goes “MAKE IT YOURSELF!”

Well that’s not very nice. The pricks stole a military issue helicopter and flew around looking for your fat Kool-Aid filled ass for hours, and you wont even give them some of your mediocre intestines to drink. I thought YOU were “Stirrin’ up singles” you prick. Go figure. This is what you get for trusting a talking pitcher.

Then the fucker breaks through your wall causing thousands of dollars in property damage and attacks you with fake brand name fruit punch that doesn’t even taste good. It tastes like he took a shit in it first. And think of all that costly re-wiring. And how do you explain that to your parents. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE WALL?!” “IT WASN’T ME, A GIANT PITCHER FILLED WITH BAD FRUIT PUCH DID IT, HE JUST STARTING YELLING ‘OH YEAH, OH YEAH’.” You cant say that, you’ll end up in a psych ward. But if you take the blame they’ll punish you. I would. I’d do something terrible. Like tie them up and make them watch every rerun of “That 70’s Show” and invite the cast over to give commentary while the kid watched it. Or make them watch the Rosie O’Donnel show. Or spend a night a Wacko Jacko’s. But I digress.

I guess the bottom line is that you shouldn’t trust crappy drinks or the talking pitchers they’re kept in or else you’ll be molested and have to pay thousands in property damage. So go “drink the Kool-Aid.”



…that was a joke… it was a refrence to Jonestown. You don’t get it do you? That’s cause you spend you’re life smoking weed and listening to 50 Cent. Go learn something you prick. So what if the reference is from another country, go learn something. Look up James Warrant “Jim” Jones you uneducated prick. And no, not Jim Jones the rapper. So go whore yourself for Kool-Aid.

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