So today I wake up and I’ve got nothing to do. Not going outside, no one in this neighborhood but burnouts (no offence Ben) and dumb ass
bitches. There are maybe two cool people. So, with nothing else to watch, I flip on TLC, hoping for maybe one of them haunted house shows
or that show with the midgets. They make me laugh.
But no. There is this show called “Honey, We’re killing the Kids.” The bad news: No, there’s no infanticide (Message to dumbfucks: That
means baby killing). The worse news: It’s a show promoting good health.
These dipshit parents are forcing these to be healthier. They convince the parents the kids need to change by using scare tactics on the
parents. They convince the pricks their kids will be fat and ugly and deformed at 40 if they don’t diet. Well guess what. THEY ALL READY
ARE. You can live with it now, you can live wit it then. Plus they make it look worse than it was by adding hobo beards and mullets and
glasses and messy hair and other undesirable things that could easily be fixed, but still brought down the overall appearance. (Message to
dumbfucks: Don’t even try to figure out what that all means, you’ll hurt yourself) Then they say that the kid will probably die before 40,
then extremify (Is that a word?) (Message to dumbfucks: Make extreme… I guess) the situation by saying “YOU’RE KILLING YOUR KIDS!!!” So?
Maybe they want to kill their kids. Kids are whiney little bitches and there’s too many of them. Kill one or two of the pricks.
(Disclaimer: Chris does not approve of infanticide… but if you do it that’s your business.)
So they split the new habits into 3 weeks. The behavior modifications may very episode to episode (Message to dumbfucks: The episodes might
be a little different sometimes) but the plot is always similar. Here is the one I saw.
These fuckers are forced to do what this bitch tells them to do, she makes 3 new rules/goals every week for 3 weeks. So first the makes
these fuckers remove ALL snacks and candy and eat only hippie vegetables and tofu. Very little meat. Well what’s wrong with meat? It’s
good and healthy. Fucking protein bitch. But that Fucking tofu shit they eat. I don’t blame the kids for bitching about THAT. I wouldn’t
eat that, I wouldn’t fucking touch it. I noticed they focused on the whining, but it only came at shitty foods. Like Tofu. I kind of felt
bad for the one kid at one point, the point that proved propaganda can effect the mind easily. She ran over to the kid that wasn’t eating
and shoveled tofu in his mouth yelling “HE’S GOING TO DIE!!!” until he puked.
But really, a few snacks every once in a while wont kill anyone. Now this here was a family of fat fucks, they DIDN’T need anymore snacks
and only ate that shit. And mom was a hypocrite fro signing her kids up to be healthier when she’s the biggest fatass in the family.
Seriously do the same program, most of the parents are fatter fucks than the kids! Though they did force the parents to eat he same, but it
was focused on kids, and you‘ll see later they DID go through a different program. But you see, now families who watch it will limit their
kids snacks and eat healthier even though their far healthier than the families on the show. They’ll take that one chocolate bar a month
away from their healthy enough, (though annoying , whiney and pissy) kid.
Then they make the kids go to etiquette school. Fuck that! These parents want their kids to display (Message to dumbfucks: that means show…
dumbass) ,manners? Then take control! HIT THEM YOU PUSSY HIPPIE, SEE IF THEY CUSS AT YOU AGAIN! YOU JUST SAVED TIME AND MONEY! You weak
fucking whores!
On top of that they’re forced to spend time together and shit.
Then they limit TV/Videogames/Computers for the kids to a combined total of 2 hours a day. This is where the whiney little bitch kids
started to annoy the hell out of me. One of the pricks tried to run away from home. Then he says on camera “THIS RULE ISN’T ALLOWED IN THIS
HOUSE” and “AFTER THIS, THIS HOUSE IS GOING BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS!” Ooh, look who thinks their in charge! He’s all “WHEN I’M 18 I’M OUT OF
HERE!!!!!!” Shut up prick. You spoiled little brat, you need to be hit, you aren’t in charge. Fucker. Fucking parents need to take control.
Also the kids are forced to do all the housework . You know, Clean the bathroom, unclog the shit pipe, hide the crack filled bodies,
whatever. And mom slacks off. She did go to the gym once. But other than that, resting and aroma therapy. Yeah bitch, you REALLY need to
slack off. Fat fuck. Lazy piece of shit.
So then they make these kids paint portraits of one of their brothers. They suck. Fucking stick figures. They were all OMG, IT’S SO GOOD.
I was like.. That sucks. Prick. You cant draw. Die. You just embarrassed yourself on TV. Luckily it was on TLC, and no one really watches
it unless they’re bored. You got lucky prick. But they did it to learn focus. Fuck focus.
Then they take the fuckers to an all you can eat buffet. Except with a menu of restrictions given to them by the host and measuring cups
and spoons. That’s just evil.
Then there’s the block party. YAY, BLOCK PARTY, FUN right? No bitches. Wrong. Dead wrong. This one they have an evil plot. They spread the
word throughout the party to eat healthy and tell of their happy adventures and how much healthier they are and have a good laugh about it.
A GOOD FUCKING LAUGH! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SLUTBAGS?! DON’T TELL YOUR NEIGHBORS WHAT TO DO, YOU PRICKS. YOU’RE NOT THEIR BOSS, YOU DON’T OWN
THEM. THIS DIET SHOW WAS YOUR CHOICE, NOT THEIRS! That’s a problem, stop trying to convert people. All the time. Think of it this way.
Do you like Jehovah’s Witnesses? Do you like Door-To-Door salesmen? No. Well you’re as annoying as them. SO SHUT UP!
And the evil bastards serve carob cake. They sneak in the dreaded chocolate substitute, carob. Ever have carob? It’s like sugarless
chocolate. I’ll never touch the stuff, but from what I hear it tastes like ass.