Tom Cruise = Action Failure
Tom Cruise fucking sucks. His action movies suck. He’s a horrible actor.
In short…
…he has to die
And people need to stop talking about his kid. Why haven’t social services taken her away from him yet. Seriously, I’m sick of hearing how there’s no proof it exists,
and how the nurse supposedly signed a birth certificate of a baby she never saw, why is everyone making a big fucking deal over it. Why the fuck do you care so
goddamn much? I mean it’s only gonna cause trouble. Like the fact the he BRONZED SOME OF HIS KIDS SHIT AND SOLD IT! I mean what kind of name is
Suri anyways. The kid needs to die just for having that name and that father. I used to think he was on coke or something. But coke does fuck you up that much.
But lets just face it, Tom Cruise isn’t that fucked up. We all know he’s just pitiful. Look at him. Everyone was like HE JUMPED ON OPRAH’S COUCH, HE’S
NUTS! No, he’s just a washed up actor who sucked in the first time, it was publicity for Mr. and Ms. Smith… Oh wait, that was Brad Pitt. I get the pretentious
Hollywood cocksucking prick actors mixed up all the time. Tom Cruise was in War of The Worlds at the time.
OH MY GOD, HIS WIFE IS PREGNANT! DEAR GOD HE SIAD HE’D EAT THE PLACENTA! NO WAY THAT COULD BE CONNECTED WITH
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3 JUST COMING OUT.
He was in shitty movies, he needed publicity, and he still wants it. And he’ll get it as long as we don’t see the baby. Seeing as everyone seems to care. Especially
proven by these “Suri Sightings”. I hate that phrase.
And I hate his and Katie Holms’ couple name. It’s probably the worst since “Bennifer”.
“TomKat”
Ewww… Get a fucking life! Lamest thing since cosplay.
Yes, I DO have to insult a different group then the one I’m focusing on in every rant. But C’mon, cosplay is just sad, it’s like Live Action Role Playing without even
putting in the effort to pretend to fight. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! IT WAS SAD ENOUGH WHEN THEY WERE PRETENDING TO FIGHT!
Moving on.
Some people think that they’re together because of a contract actually. I doubt that. Would YOU sight any legal document with the name Tom Cruise on it?!
But you can tell he needed that publicity. I actually thought at one point the was dead.
Actually I just thought all90’s action stars (or action failure in tom cruise’s case) were dead. That’s why the “Jet Li’s Last Move” commercial came on for the first time
I though “Woah, isn’t he dead?” To this very day, every time I see a new Jackie Chan movie commercial come on, I say “Whoa! Isn’t he dead yet?!” Maybe we need
to start killing action stars. Start with Cruise, Chan, and ANYONE with the last name Li. Or Lee. Brandon Lee was the only one I didn’t mind.
Back