Beer: YOU FUCKING SHITHEADS!!
Why do beer companies (I forget which one in particular I’m talking about) tell us in these commercials about how they ship
their beer so damn cold. Who gives a fuck?! I mean really, they could ship that shit boiling (ok, maybe not, that might make it go bad, but still...), it wont matter, because it
just goes to room temperature in the store display piles, or it gets cold in the fridge at the store. Depends on where you
go.
And I know bottles have to be kept cold, but they advertised their cans in the freezing, below negitive whatever truck.
Besides the only thing that means shit is that when you drink it’s cold.
So isn’t it excellent that they’re blowing money on keeping something cold that would end up cold later anyway. So fuck
you Budweiser, I killed your logic.
And anyone who is convinced by that campaign to buy that particular beer:
YOU ARE (as Ben would say) A COMPLETE WINDOWLICKER!
Now I can see that beer can go bad at room temperature, but I’m pretty sure that takes a good while, plus most grocery
stores keep it at room temperature anyway, so it doesn’t mean jack shit.
In fact, I say we boycott any beer distributor who tries to sell with that stupid half-assed marketing scheme. Whoever came
up with that had to pretty shitfaced. Probably spent too much time in the same room with the shit. And if we did boycott
it, there are other companies. Budweiser, Coors, Rolling Rock.
And if worst comes to worse there’s always Mountain Dew. Not the soda. The alcohol. It’s an Irish Moonshine.
So I fucking win.
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