Yay for tiger attacks!
"Two days after an escaped tiger killed a teenager at the San Francisco Zoo..."
~Article Posted on the 27th, This attack occurred on Christmas
...well maybe the tiger was just saying "What the fuck are you doing at a goddamned zoo on Christmas?" He just asked the only way a tiger knows how. Very violently. Or per haps he was telling him he didn’t like being in the zoo, and he wanted to go back to the jungle. And maybe take some of his animal friends.
“One zoo official insisted the tiger did not get out through an open door and must have climbed or leaped out. But Jack Hanna, former director of the Columbus Zoo, said such a leap would be an unbelievable feat and “virtually impossible.””
~Article
Either someone is lying here, or we’re not dealing with a normal tiger. This is SUPERTIGER. Faster than a speeding child, More powerful than the people he injured, able to leap a sub-standard but still supposedly adequate wall in a single bound.
SUPER TIGER!
Yay blatant superman references. Even though superman sucks.
“A koala is kidnapped. Sheep are molested by a human intruder. An elephant does a headstand on a technician, breaking her pelvis. A tiger ravages its keeper’s arm. A year later, on Christmas Day, the same feline escapes, kills and gets killed.”
~Article
So apparently this isn’t the first time this zoo sucked at life. Apparently, they also have had an amazing amount of animal deaths. So now the zoo has a lawsuit against it for the tiger attacks, and now they’re saying the walls were too small ands that’s probably how the tiger got out.
…But the zoo still says even though they’re smaller than recommended, they’re still ok, and that when the zoo was checked for safety the issue was never brought up.
…Supertiger.
The sad part is they killed the tiger. That’s bullshit. The tiger didn’t do shit. I mean yeah, he killed and injured some people, but seriously, he’s a fucking TIGER. What is he supposed to do, buy them ice cream and do a polka? That would be a very gay tiger. Let me put it this way. If you were in a cage, stared at by whining children all day, gawked at be idiots with no attention span who get all excited when the keeper feeds you, and all that shit, you’d want out. And when you got out you’d be pretty pissed off.
I mean really, I don’t mean to sound like a hippie or anything, but they couldn’t at least like... tranquilize it and put it back in its cage, then build the walls up more.
So I guess it sucked to be Supertiger.
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